Banging My Head Against the Wall

I love my children. I love my children. I love my children.

I really do.

The are beautiful, sweet, and loving kids.

Let me introduce you to them. This is child #1--not that she is my favorite--I have no favorites. And not that she is in charge (just that someone forgot to tell her). No, truly, I just meant she was born first. She is 12.

She is bright and funny. She loves to sing and play softball..and argue. One day she will make a wonderfully talented attorney--let's just hope she chooses to work on the side of justice. That most likely won't be an issue since seeking justice is one of her life's goals. Unfortunately, it's generally seeking justice and retribution agains this child...

Child #2 This was taken at Christmas (with mom) at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

Child #2 is 6. The fact that he was born second in no way indicates that he is not first to be first in everything...as a matter of fact he believes that he is supposed to be first in all things. This opinion of his can be a problem--especially for the girl child who believes that she is (a)in charge and (b) should in no way be kept from being first. Whether that is in the door, out the door, in the bathroom (thank God we have 2) or whatever. Whining and arguing commence frequently.

It doesn't help that child #2 has ADHD and undiagnosed senory issues and undiagnosed who knows what else. We are working on this...and while we make him mind and hold pretty strick boundaries...with this child, sometimes we just have to wing it, roll with the flow, and adjust course pretty quickly. Child #1 is not good at that. She believes that the rules are the rules are the rules and no one, especially child #2, should be given leeway. This doesn't mean she doesn't have times that she is good with him..she does. And honestly, there are days he wears on us all. The issues we deal with are not extreme and can be dealt with. We will figure it all out and survive. But in the interim things get pretty tricky sometimes and there is alot of stress--especially for someone who doesn't roll with anything very well.

Today, I had to run errands all morning with child #2 (who is in afternoon kindergarten) in preparation for an afternoon appointment. Unfortunately that afternoon appointment--which was rescheduled at the last minute on their side--meant that child #1 was going to have to get child #2 off the school bus and watch him for 20 minutes or so. Not anything new--not anything I hadn't prepared child #2 for...just not a good choice. After school is a bad time for him. One of his issues is that he strongly prefers to wear a stocking cap --pretty much all day and all night. He sleeps in it, he eats in it...he'd take a bath in it if I'd let him. This is a semi new thing...started over Christmas vacation...and it seems to be to block out some noise...or maybe because the wind blowing his hair bother him (he has very little hair...) Anyway...he can't wear it during school. They won't let him...and we don't have an IEP or 504 yet because we are working on diagnosis..and because even though we have the ADHD diagnosis...he's ok for them for 2.5 hours in the afternoons--gives them no problmes--for which I'm thankful...but they think I'm nuts. Anyway...he comes in after school and is cranky...and whiny....and it's mostly because of the hat.

So having to have big sister get him from the bus (break in routine) and coming home to her being in charge (something he battles on a good day) and the fact that she got bossy the minute he started whining and that just made him melt down further.meant that I was called on my cell before I ever got within 10 minutes of the house. I wanted to ring her neck. I had laid out very specifically what she was to do and how to handle him. I had laid out snacks and told her to let him watch tv in the back (away from her and giving him time to decompress) until I got hom.

She didn't do it. Because he yelled at her and she wanted to wait until she talked to me to see what I wanted her to do.

I. Already. Told. You. What. To. Do.

And she had the nerve to get irritated with we.

Big sigh.

It's just been one of those days.

hugs

Vicky