Sunday, February 1, 2009

Ready to cry--contains some cussing.

I don't hide my feelings well. I don't lie well--though I've been known, when asked if I"m say yes whether I am or not. Generally, I give myself away anyway and so, mostly I just don't bother.

We've had a good weekend. Don't get me wrong. But the events of last Friday added to my frustration level with my sweet man and not having answers have pushed me pretty low.

J is 6. In June of last year he was diagnosed with ADHD, combined type. I think there is more going on. We've played duck duck goose with meds that don't seem to help. We have a psychiatrist I don't trust--and while I"m trying to get him into a new one--the waiting list is forever. His therapist is ok--but I get very little real help out of any of them. Emotionally he just doesn't handle change well. He's chewing holes in his shirts--a nervous habit I believe--one that just started recently. I'm beyond knowing what the answer is--but we are working on getting him into Riley (children's hospital) to find some answers. Generally he is a sweet, bright, and loving little boy. He's fun to be around and loves to hug. He also is extreme in pretty much everything he does and it's an energy zapper. I don't know whether the disciplinary tactics I'm using are making things worse--they sure don't seem to make a difference. At school--for 2.5 hours a day, he does fine. They are extrmeley structured and this works well for him. But it leaves me feeling like it's all me, all my doing, or I've lost my mind and just don't know how to handle the kid. Considering his preschool teacher is the one who started us towards getting help because of classroom problems and his ped. has seen the issues I know it's not all me...but it leaves me feeling very lost and alone. I know I"m not but this is where I am.

Friday afternoon, after a discussion with her guidance counselor over many different things--but very much including problems with another girl, my 12 year old daughter was verbally attacked by another student. This other girl has, for weeks, been calling some of my daughter's friends a bitch, smacking them etc. She'd left my daughter alone--to her face--but it bothered C that her friends were being picked on. This was part of the conversation with the guidance counselor.--who told her she needed to tell this other girl (M) that she didn't like to be talked to that way. (OMG--sorry but this isn't preschool and that doesn't work with this age group--the girl doesn't care and probably is glad to know she's getting to her). Apparently after C talked to the guidance counselor, the guidance counselor talked to M...who at lunch walked up to my daughter, got in her face and said "you bitch". No one did anything, heard anything...and C told no one till she got home to me. I, at this point, could not get ahold of the guidance counselor and have stewed on it all weekend.

Understand--C is not a small child. She is 5'5" and 164 pounds. She's ready to knock the crud out of her but does not want to get suspended...and she probably will hurt the other girl. But the school, so far, has not helped the situation and while I'd better have a phone call tomorrow AM, and she better be assisted in making things beter. Because quite honestly, i'm willing to let my high honor roll, teacher liked, never been in trouble 6th grader defend herself--whether it's a verbal assault or a physical one...if they don't help . I'm not a fighter (physically) and haven't raised her to be...but ....grrr...bullying is wrong and she should not have to put up with that!

I'll update after I hear from teh school.

In other news, we bought a Wii yesterday. So far they aer having fun. Apparently I'm too unfit for the Wii balance board and therefor can't use (and luckily) didn't buy the wii fit....but it's quite the downer.


  1. Found you through Sarah Smith's spot.

    We seem to have a lot in common. I actually have done a blog post on MY ADHD child in which, I, too, quoted the mantra of "I love my child, I love my child."

    I will definitely visit again.

  2. I admire the way you keep on keepin' on, even when life gets WAY too frustrating. You children are blessed to have you as a mom!


  3. LOL...the truth is...I don't feel like I have much choice...and believe me...compared to all the parents that deal with cancer and other issues like that...I'm nothing.

    thanks for the support though